When a Lesbian goes Bi …WTF?!
Everyone accepts with little less then a shrug, that a lot of straight girls are suddenly bi when you get them sufficiently liquored up. But the earth stops spinning when a died in the wool lesbian gets outed as having bi tendencies when she’s totally hammered.
A straight male friend of mine in Australia recently told me about making out with a lesbian in a gay bar. Apparently she hadn’t been with a man in years. But that night the stars aligned: she was drunk, he was hot and when he kissed her, she kissed back.
My friend made a rather quick exit after feeling the glares of every lesbian in there. Fearing for his safety, he left. But he had accomplished what many men only dream of … making time with a lesbian.
It’s no surprise that men find us (gay girls) a challenge and maybe even a little sexy for that same reason. But what is a surprise is the amount of criticism, ridicule or even outright hate mounted on a lesbian that dares to make the mistake of a drunken evening spent batting for the other team.
I hate to say it, but it’s like sleeping with the enemy. Except, since when are men the enemy? They aren’t my enemy. Several of my closest friends are straight men.
But if I were to mess around with one of them, my card-carrying-lesbian privileges would be instantly revoked and I’d get booted back to Bi-Town. Deported to the Siberia of Lesbian-Ville with nothing but a one way ticket out of town. No matter how much alcohol is involved, there’s never an excuse for experimenting with the ever-so-kinky straight lifestyle our mothers all warned us about.
My question is this: Why is it ok when straight girls experiment with being gay but it’s unforgivable when a lesbian experiments with being straight?
I know a lot of lesbians that have occasionally slipped back into Hetero-ville, if only for a night …. but for lots of reasons. Everything from just being too drunk, to actually considering trying to be straight for a million reasons (usually how crappy their love life is going or pressure from close-minded families). But not one, NOT ONE of those women will admit to it. They would rather claim herpes than admit to having slept with a man within the last decade.
For all my commentary on how unfair we treat our sisters when they hoe it up with the boys, I’m guilty of making the ick face when someone tells me they slipped and landed on a dick. I’ll admit my gag reflex acts up at the thought of any of the lesbians I know being with men. Even though I’m as guilty as they come, considering I dated men in the beginning and then briefly again in the middle when I was convinced I made a bad lesbian and that no woman would ever want me. But that’s a whole other blog.
I really don’t have any good way to end this blog. No moral lesson tied up in witty sarcasm or a snappy one-liner that wraps it all up. I’m actually at a loss. I really do wonder why some lesbians occasionally fall into bed with men after years of living the gay lifestyle?
Could it be as simple as too much to drink? Or as complex as feeling overwhelmed by societal pressures and trying to force oneself to conform? I guess it’s different for every woman that loses her way. I just hope she finds her way back … it’s just better over here.
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I think when lesbians sleep with men even after being with only chicks for a while its usually because they think their missing something. But it doesn’t take long for them to come running back. Theres no reason for a lesbian to ever feel like shes missing anything. if she wants dick, ive got several, all she has to do is pick her favorite size.
Personally…YIKES! I was with guys before. I’m not even sure I know a gold star. But once I “came to my senses” there is NO WAY IN HELL I’D EVER GO BACK!!!!
Boo to spam.
In other news, I now have my guesses for what deep dark secret Sasha revealed to Remi, based on this post…
Just kidding. 🙂
I dated men before I dated women…and frankly, I don’t hate them at all, I just would prefer to sleep with, date and wonderfully screw the fairer sex. Women are sexy as hell…and I’m one of the ones that once I dated one woman, I never went back.
But unlike many, I don’t care who you date or what sex they are. Heck, I may not want to have sex with a guy, but I don’t hate them…in fact, I think we have some similar interests. People have to do what they have to do to be true to themselves…if they want to have sex with a guy? That’s their choice.
KDL …. ummmm NOOOOOO! LOL … this had nothing to do with that previous post. And sorry about the spam that slipped through, I’m out of town for a couple days and thought I could let the comments go unfiltered. I was oh so wrong. Luckily my friends in the desert have heard of the internet 🙂
I would never trust my woman again if she fucked a man. I need to know that no mans been sniffin around down there any where close to the time that Im there. Of my girl told me she “slipped on a dick” id dump her ass. U cant trust women that dont know what they want.
I’m a FTM but my girlfriend is a femme. She was married to a man for years before she met me. Since I’ve known her she has slept with her ex husband when we were seperated. But I took her back because I understand that feelings are gender blind. I would be the biggest hypocrite if I couldn’t understand that. Sleeping with A man doesn’t make her a whore. Sleeping with TEN men might. It all depends on the situation. Don’t judge until you know the whole story.
I agree with KDL. I bet this blog has more to do with Sasha then she wants to admit.
I really don’t think she needs to tell what she did confess to me but I would like to defend my gf in the fact that it had nothing to do with this post!!
LMAO Sasha is standing in my living room right now surrounded by a group of drunk lesbians and she fits right in. I don’t think she wrote this blog about herself, i think she’s as gay as they come!!!
slipped and landed on a dick…
brilliant!!! i’ve been reading this blog for almost two months, and i just HAD to leave a comment after reading that sentence. haha! well done!
I’m drunk at a house full of lesbians in the desert and probably SHOULD NOT be commenting on my own damn blog in this condition, but I had to say i luv it that my gf defends me even when i don’t deserve it. isn’t she awesome?!! Yes. she is. Ughhhhhh, more vodka please.
I for real just wrote my last comment to cause trouble.
I believe in you, Sasha!
Nobody should have to defend their sexuality, and this includes women who identify mostly as lesbian but who may also have the occasional stirrings toward a man. What difference does it make whether your “gay” girlfriend is occasionally tempted by a man rather than a woman? If she fucks around with a woman she’s somehow “more trustworthy” than if it’s a guy? I don’t get the logic. That type of visceral reaction suggests that The Cock is just inherently threatening. That it’s not about “trust,” it’s about boycotting cock and banishing anyone who won’t do the same.
Gay men and women fought and are still fighting for the right to not be judged based on something so private and complex as sexual orientation. Good for you if you never feel any need for exploration or a moment (alcohol-inspired or not) of conflict. I know straight men who occasionally feel a desire to experiment with bi behavior, but they’d never admit that because they’d immediately be labeled “gay.” The politics of this are just absurd, unfair, and utterly hypocritical and I suspect all of you know that deep down.
I just want to say that if someone judged me based on something so lame as the above criteria, I would dump THEIR ass before they could dump mine.
Go, Nica!
Look, humans are complex animals. Sometimes our desires take us by surprise. When we’re more invested in toeing the party line than we are in being who we actually are, we feel the need to police other people’s identities all the more strongly.
I’d be worried about people having drunk sex for reasons of safety, but not of gender or orientation. I know plenty of gay men and lesbians who’ve occasionally hooked up with “the other side”. They continue to regard themselves as gay men and lesbians, and therefore so do I. It’s not unusual. Sadly, it’s being honest about it that’s rare.
I sleep with “lesbians” all the time. Femmes only though, I think it is pretty obvious that most femme lesbians are Bi.
Especially the ones that like dykes. Use common sense ladies, if a woman likes women that look like men then she will probably like the right man.
Like it or not, As time progresses you will see that more lesbians will become bisexual. Get with the times ladies.
PS= I’m cumming for your GF!! 😛
Darlin, you ain’t helping your cause a’tall.
oh that was to the Renaissance man lol btw
if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a bi-woman your wife
Old post but Peter R’s comment makes me even more attracted to women – if that was possible ;). I LOVE androgenous looking women and I LOVE butch looking women. Men using horny puns “I’m cumming for your GF” make me want to throw up on them.
Hi, I’m sorry, I know this is a really old post, but I am a new reader and I feel the need to comment on it because it really hits close to home for me. I’m a lesbian in the great biblical south, down in southern Louisiana, and down here, being a lesbian is not how you were born, it’s how you chose to be. I admitted to myself that I was at least bi when I was 13, and a lesbian at 17, but I dated guys to keep the fact from my parents. When I turned 21, I came out as a hell-bound member of the great rainbow brigade, and nearly 6 years later, they are still struggling with it. Everytime I break up with a girl, my mom tries to introduce me to this ‘nice young man who will take good care of you.’ If I, or any lesbian I or they are acquainted with, were to bat for the other team for a night, all of the progress I’ve made would revert right back to ‘its my sinful choice.’ So I know that, down here at least, if anyone gets wind of such things, it sets the game back for all of us as far as being accepted for the card carrying uber dykes that we are.