Top 5 Reasons To Stay In The Closet

1. Safety. If it’s not safe in your home or area to come out, don’t. Your safety is top priority. I know it must really suck to not be able to be live your life the way you want to, but it’s only temporary. You can come out later, when your living situations allow for you to live openly as a member of the LGBTQ. 
2. Your family will disown you. This is a really sucky one but one that a lot of people face. This is so personal that you’ll have to really figure out what’s important to you. You might have to let them do what they want, even if it’s cutting ties with you for now. Let them, because both sides need time to adjust to the new normal. You can always reconnect with them later, after you’ve figured out your new place in the world. A lot of times after families realize that it’s not a phase and that your life isn’t ruined by being gay, get over it. Some super conservative families might not, and that’s there loss. Because do you really want to forfeit all of your own happiness in life to appease the opinions of people that don’t love you for who you are? 
3. You’re in a heterosexual marriage. This happens a lot more than you might think. No, you’re not a bad person for marrying someone and than realizing later you’re gay. It happens, the best thing is to be honest with your partner as soon as you realize it yourself and begin to make the healthiest decisions for both of you moving forward. This doesn’t always mean divorce. Some couples come to an agreement, and open their marriage up to new partners. It’s called polyamory and it’s an option you might want to consider if you don’t want to leave your partner. 
4. You have children. This is not a good reason to stay in the closet. In fact, its a reason to come out. Because children learn what they see their parents doing, not just saying. If they see that their parent is unhappy and depressed and living a lie, what message does that teach them? If you’re currently in a relationship with their other parent, it’s definitely complicated. But like an separation or divorce, it can be handled in a mature and healthy way for all parties. So that in the end, your children can see that their parents are open minded, loving, honest parents that are able to co-parent because they love their kids. Lot’s of kids come from divorced families, not just kids of gay parents. They’ll be ok, you just have to navigate it carefully and with love for all concerned. 
5. Your career. Here’s a tricky one, sometimes people’s jobs aren’t cool with gay people. Now this is against the law. Depending on where you are in the world, it might not be against the law, in which case, that SUCKS. But ask yourself, is your job worth it? There are other jobs, other careers that you could get into. This might be a great time to start that business, or go to culinary school, or start selling your artwork. In todays market there is no limit to ways to earn money on your own terms. If you’re stuck in a job that is holding you back from living your dream life, maybe you need a new job. 

You might notice that this list is a lot shorter than the Top 10 Reasons To Come Out. That’s because in the long run, the list of ways that coming out and pursuing a life you love, is countless. There might always be people that disagree with being gay. Let them. Let them live their tiny lives while you go live your big, beautiful gay one. 

A quick note about #1. If you are living in an area of the world that it is not safe for you to come out. Be smart about it. Make some long term plans that will take you out of that area and into a more accepting one. This can happen by going to a school in a bigger city, getting a job transfer, saving up. It might take you a little bit, but it will be worth it in the end. 

Photo by Elena Rabkina on Unsplash

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