The Lipstick Mafia

After accidentally blurting out my alleged ties to a particular family, i.e. the Lipstick Mafia I received a number of inquiries desiring more details. While my lawyer advises that I say as little as possible and admit to nothing, I was able to dig up some information for inquiring minds.

Lip·stick Ma·fi·a aka Lesbian Mafia
-noun

1. a non-hierarchically structured secret organization allegedly engaged in bringing sexy back into the lesbian community
2. A group of beautiful lipstick (and ChapStick) lesbians that have formed a close-knit circle of friends. They stick together, closing ranks around any member threatened by a real or imaginary threat, i.e. stalkers, ex’s and men.
3. All members are allegedly educated, brilliant and witty. Known to be aggressive in their chosen professions, any member of the alleged mafia is fully expected to dominate in their field.

An informant working with the CIA was able to smuggle out an excerpt from the LM dossier and it read:

According to the intel we have gathered it seems that the Lipstick Mafia, some times referenced as the Lesbian Mafia consists of a tight knit group of friends that adhere to a strict code of honor and integrity.

They appear to have each others best interest in mind at all times and betrayal is not an option.

They recruit only the best, brightest and most beautiful of their kind. Yet an inside source reports that once initiated into the ranks, members are equally loved and supported by one another.

We’ve never seen anything like this in the field before. Beautiful, intelligent women are usually rivals, yet these women somehow surpassed that and together have become something we’ve never witnessed before. We are unsure as to what measures can be taken. As of yet, they appear to have no weaknesses that we might exploit to our advantage.

To date, all surveillance suggests that now that these women have found each other and formed this alliance it would seem that they are unstoppable and if not yet, will very soon be a force to be reckoned with, on a global scale. INTERPOL should be warned of this impending threat, so that the lesbians in Europe will be prepared. All indicators suggest that they will set the world on fire and that the world is going to love it.

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