My Lonely 4th
Remi’s going out of town for the weekend. She leaves Friday morning and she won’t get back till Monday night. I’m happy for her that she gets to see her entire family for the 4th but totally going through withdrawals already.
This is the first time we’re going to be apart since she moved in a year and half ago. Not even a single night has been spent without her in bed next to me. I’m so depressed right now. OMG I’m so co-dependent it’s pathetic.
I’m sure some of you are wondering why I’m not going with her? She asked me to go but I couldn’t. As soon as we started dating seriously, I gave her the disclaimer: I can do almost any holiday with you and yours, except for the 4th of July. Because my corgi, Willow is so afraid of the fireworks, she works herself up and makes her self sick. I can not leave her. No matter what.
And I meant it. So when the camping trip of a lifetime came up, with her entire brood of siblings (Who all happen to be incredibly fun people to hang out with, and boy does this family know how to party! They make my family look down right boring.) I was totally bummed when it was planned for the 4th.
But there was no way I was going to let Remi miss this chance to see her whole family. She’s the only one in California and hardly ever gets so see her siblings. So I booked her a ticket right away.
So she’s off for Lake Tahoe and I’m staying put, with my anxiety ridden little girl and my little boy who just wants to see what all the fuss is about. On the bright side, I guess, my block is one of the few neighborhoods in Los Angeles where everyone knows everyone else and actually gets along. Every year, all our neighbors get together months in advance to plan a huge block party. Complete with live bands, entertainment, tons of food and alcohol …. and unfortunately for my doggy, lots of fireworks.
I’ve never actually gone out and enjoyed the block party, but it’s sort of nice to know that everyone else is having fun.
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I am sure you’ll miss Remi, but this could be good for you. Give your independence a bit of room to stretch around in. When Remi went to the casino without you, you seemed just fine and were perfectly capable of being alone for a little while. Even though it was evident you missed her, you seemed to enjoy your own self while she was out. It won’t be easy at night, but line up some friends to talk to if you get too anxious. Snuggle with your babies and be thankful you are able to be there with them. I totally understand your devotion to your dogkins. I am exactly the same way. You have a lot of readers who love you lots, so write to us if you start feeling a little to lonely. Have a safe and happy 4th, Sasha and Remi.
Oh Sasha, I’m so sorry! I know it would tear me up if C and I had to spend a weekend apart, especially on a holiday! Ok, just an idea, if you give your poor puppy a benadryl would it help?? I know that is what we had to do with Elrod after his eye surgeries, otherwise he would have been a complete nervous mess.
Totally get your devotion to your pups and your longing to be with your girl. 🙁 If at all possible, have some daily contact with Remi, and have a friend or two in the wings who you can call if you need some support. Yes, you’re strong and capable and blah, blah, blah…you’re still human, and this sort of scenario can be especially tough for chicks like us.
Pay attention to any changes in your mood, any symptoms of a potential episode, and take steps early on to nip them in the bud (yoga, meditation, contacting support people, etc. – anything that grounds you and brings you back to center). Make sure your sleep stays on track and just take care of yourself.
I know I sound annoying, but I say these things because they are what I need to hear when I’m in a vulnerable space…so I hope it’s annoyingly helpful. 🙂
(For what it’s worth, I’ve started using Hyland’s Nerve Tonic on days when things are a bit rough and I need an add-on to the Empower. It seems to work whether I’m starting to edge up or down, or feeling mixed – kind of like yoga in a bottle. I like it even better than Inositol, though that helps too, and you can pick it up at any health food store.)
The things we do for our pups! 🙂
Try to keep busy this weekend, I’m sure the time will fly by.
As for Willow, maybe take her out for a nice long walk? Tire her out so she’ll sleep through the fireworks?