Musings on Lesbian Promiscuity
From my experiences in the straight world and the lesbian world I’ve noticed something diametrically opposed to one another. Well, at least for myself. When I was dating boys, I thought the fewer men I was with the better. I really kept my numbers low and I was very proud of that fact.
However in the lesbian world, at least the world I know … the more women you bed, the better. As a woman dating, kissing, sleeping with other women, there’s no guilt, no stigma, no bad reputation to be avoided. Unlike in the straight world, the lesbian culture seems to embrace sluttiness. Except like our male counter parts we’re allowed to take on the “player” title and let the “slut” label fall by the wayside. Even when somebody calls you a slut, it’s not really an insult. But more a badge of honor.
Why is this? Maybe because when the fear of pregnancy and the worry of birth control is gone, a lot of the stigma attached to sex disappears as well. Perhaps it’s the fact that the risk of STD’s is significantly lower among lesbians. Could it be that without the fear of being judged by men, we let our guards down and allow ourselves to indulge in our base nature more openly than our straight girl counter parts?
Notice I said “openly” not “freely.” There are plenty of straight women that sleep around and there’s not a damn thing wrong with that. But my point is that for the most part, they keep their real numbers on the down low, in fear of others thinking negatively of them. But as a lesbian I rarely feel as if I’ll be looked down on by anyone, regardless of how many notches I carve into my bedpost.
Seriously, no one cares how many women another woman sleeps with. Except maybe the woman you’re currently sleeping with. But straight men think it’s awesome and your gay and lesbian friends just high five you over vodkas … OK, only Amber high fives me, but you get my point. Even straight women don’t seem to care one way or the other. Because they either a) Are too uncomfortable to even ask b) If they do ask, are secretly excited by anything you do tell them or c) Are just hoping to be next on that list.
So overall, this is how I see it: Lesbian promiscuity earns you a player card. Straight girl promiscuity just earns you a bad reputation among hypocritical men and jealous women.
So if you want to act like a slut, be a lesbian. 😉
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LOL… that is so bad.. but true…LOL!!! i love being a lesbian… ha ha ha … i used to have a player card, then … well then i got played .. so i dont play anymore,.. lol.. i guess im just a sore loser… lol
That’s an interesting take on it, but I think you’re right! I certainly don’t care how many people other women sleep with, though I do “keep my numbers low.” For me, however, that has nothing to do with reputation and everything to do with just being picky and not interested in casual sex (no one’s come around that I really *wanted* to have sex with in the past couple of years, at least not that’s gay and lives in my area).
I do get annoyed when the opposite happens, though. I had a little fling with a girl, you might call it sex you might not, and we were kissing at one point and she was like “you’re the 72nd person I kissed (or whatever it was)! I keep a list.” I just give her a funny look and say cheerfully, “you’re number three.” And she’s like “oh that’s so CUTE!” and pats my cheek. Later, when I wasn’t interested in hooking up again, she was completely baffled. But I’m offering you SEX. Of course you want to have sex, you’re so inexperienced! Honey, it’s not for lack of offers. *rolls eyes*
Anyway, yeah, more power to promiscuity for those who want it. Why should we care what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?
Judith, I loved the part where the girl told you what number you were!!! What was wrong with her??? Well, I NEVER tell my real numbers 🙂 Why? Because they’re all “special.” 😉
LMFAO!! I never thought about it that way…but you’re so right!! 😀
i think the 20-something lesbians of today are – or are trying to be – the equivalents of the gay men of the 70s. i missed out on all that since i’m now 40, and i’m glad for that :).
To be honest, I live in New England, and that really isn’t the case. If you sleep with a lot of people – boy or girl, you’re a slut…and that’s in no way a compliment.
For me, I have never slept with a lot of chicks – mostly because I’m terribly meticulous and picky, and there’s a lot of ugly chicks out there. My vibrator is better than that.
Also, I’m a fanatic about safe sex if I am not in a relationship. Most chicks don’t dig that…or simply aren’t prepared. Call me “old-fashioned” but in my long-term relationship, I’m really happy that I wasn’t plagued with diseases (or a history of any STDs), and although I know my way around, I’m a catch – every girl in the place can’t look at me and think she has any idea what it’s like to see me naked…or have any piece of the action.
Just my take.
Maybe it’s because women are harder to get into bed – an achievement – whereas everybody’s happy to sleep with them?
I agree, if you bed many men as a straight woman you are a slut, but for lesbians its business as usual, no stigma attached. Just normal.
Just a random comment. I just had to have 3 goes at reading this post. I mean that literally. The picture was far too distracting and I was having a hard time from stopping my mind wandering. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing though…
I don’t care how many women other women that I’m NOT interested sleep with. I do care how many the women who I’m with has been with. Because it signifies how they feel about the significance of who they decide to share something as intimate as sex with. Do they treat sex the same way I do. If they treat it like its nothing, then they’d prob not be the woman for me. I kind of believe that whom ever one has sex with takes a bit of their being with them that they can never get back. Why would I want to share this with just anyone? And why would I want to share this with someone who thought having sex with me was nothing? I think people of any sexuality can be loose. Not just straight women.
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