Gay Vacations
Remi and I love to take romantic weekend getaways as much as possible. But one thing we always do when planning a trip is to look into how gay friendly the city is. If it’s known for stringing you up and dragging you behind trucks because you’re gay, we usually don’t book a flight there. If they host Prides there or have all lesbian resorts, then we’re good to go.
But that severely limits our places we feel comfortable going to for a “romantic” weekend. I use the qualifier, “romantic getaway” because of course, we are capable of traveling to less friendly areas if we ever really want to. But so far, besides Oregon (not counting super gay Portland) to see her family, we steer clear of places that look at us like we have three heads.
In fact, even in gay friendly places like Palm Springs, we frequent ‘Lesbian Only’ resorts. Why? Simple, we like to be able to hold hands, kiss and canoodle while lounging by the pool all day. Without worrying that some mother is going to herd her children away from the evil lesbians. This has actually happened in such mundane places as Target. A few times, women with children have seen us holding hands and all of a sudden they’re rushing their children to the other side of them, protecting them from seeing what??? A married couple simply hold hands? God forbid.
Back in the day we used to be careful not to hold hands in front of children. But over time, we got over it. I decided that since we weren’t doing anything wrong, we didn’t need to alter our behavior to pander to the lowest common denominator. If anything, seeing two women hold hands in public could spark an educational conversation between mother and child. See? We are providing a public service! A chance to teach your children that some people have two mommies and that’s OK too. 😉
Sorry, I digress as usual. So back to vacation plans. Do you think it’s too limiting to only go to gay friendly destinations? Or does the fact that we only support gay friendly locations help promote them, in the long term, hopefully resulting in more gay friendly resorts opening because they see that it’s profitable? See my point?
If as a community we try to only support gay friendly businesses and cities, we will eventually create a better economic model for more to exist. Thereby expanding our choices. However, that’s not an overnight thing and in the mean time, we’re rather limited. But, even within our limited options, I prefer a gay friendly vacation. Am I being small minded?
Oh and please feel free to share your favorite gay friendly vacay spots!
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Do you think it’s too limiting to only go to gay friendly destinations?
Yes. The world is a really big place and there are a lot of beautiful things in the world to explore. I’ll be damned if I limit my existence and my experiences based on my sexual orientation. I absolutely LOVE to travel and I can adapt very well in other environments.
Or does the fact that we only support gay friendly locations help promote them, in the long term, hopefully resulting in more gay friendly resorts opening because they see that it’s profitable? See my point?
Frankly, when I’m vacationing, I’m not concerned about how other people can exploit me via my sexual orientation, identity, or the “privileges” I may or may not have. I want to relax, enjoy myself and my surroundings, period, whether I’m Black, Green, Lesbian, Trans, a big ass purple dinosaur, etc. I could not careless about someone else’s cash flow, no matter how “friendly” they make it out to be, they are in business for a reason, to make money and they make money by “marketing” toward a certain demographic, group, identity, sexual orientation, etc.
Oh and please feel free to share your favorite gay friendly vacay spots!
I’ve heard Puerto Vallarta, Mexico is gay friendly, but I’m not the type of person to check out “scenes” just because they are “scenes.”
I must say, that I am not a fan of PDA in a general sense. PDA for me is situational (I adapt here too) depending on my environment. For example, I don’t feel comfortable in large crowded places, therefore I’m not going to display a lot of PDA, yet on the flip side, if it’s a more secluded area and not too many people, then I may display some PDA. I’m a bit more reserved in public places, but that’s just my personality, I’m an introvert.
I am generally against traveling to or frequenting anywhere that is exclusive to anything. The lesbian-only resorts make me think of that tired, homophobic rant about segregating gays from the general public by putting them on an island with 20 foot high electric fences in hope homosexuality will die out because gays are unable to reproduce (shows how stupid homophobes are). While I get that the gay and lesbian demographic might feel more comfortable among people they have something in common with, not to mention the improved chances of meeting a mate, I don’t think self-segregation does anything positive for the GLTBQ community as a whole. Even though there is a long way to go, the rights gained thus far for gays to just exist have been won through visibility. What is Pride all about? Visibility. I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind, though. It would be dumb to go, for instance, to some country where homosexuality is illegal and then proceed to put on a show of PDA. On the flip-side, it is important to show support for businesses that show support for gay rights, and boycott those that don’t. Generally speaking, gay friendly areas are more fun because of the evident diversity. A place that is repressive just seems so stale and gray, and I don’t think I could muster any fun while visiting them. Wilderness areas are neutral. I don’t think an owl in the woods would give a hoot about two girls kissing. 😀
Me and my wife dont travel much but when we do we tend to select locations based entertainment and price. We have yet to go to an exclusive lesbian vaca resort or event out of town. We always have a great time and are affectionate in public. Not creepy affectionate but just enough to let eachother know we are really traveling to be together not for the other tourists. We have been to Las Vegas, St. Augustine and Ft. Myers and Key West, Florida. We have also been to Boston and Salem. Austin, Texas and have always had a great and open time.Yes these places have vibrant gay communities but we see what everybody goes to see and are usually the only gay girls on the tours or in the restaurant. I am not visiting rural South Carolina anytime soon but I dont have any issues where we have visited. I highly suggest you visit a new and exciting place that is generally friendly and not just gay friendly and I am sure you will enjoy it. I highly recommend New Years Eve in Las Vegas. They shut down the strip and have fireworks at almost every hotel and the shows are worth the money.
In re reading this, it occurred to me that there is a big difference between “gay-friendly” and “gay-exclusive”. Gay-friendly gets a thumbs up because it is inclusive.
I’ve never actually considered that- going to gay friendly resorts and cities and what not only. Maybe it’s because I’m not really afforded the opportunity. What I do is go any city I want to and am able to, and just look up the gayborhoods and hot spots. If it doesn’t have any and I’m not there for any other reason, I’ll pass it up because I’d think it boring. It’s not really about protecting myself- I could be more proactive about that, but I just wanna live, ya know?
Anyway, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing- allowing your money to support the places that support you is activism as far as I’m concerned. However yes, if you just want to go some place nice, don’t lack the lack of gay areas deter you. As long as the crime rate isn’t high, just have fun in the perfect place. I don’t usually notice people noticing me.
*don’t let the lack
I don’t think I would limit myself to an exclusive area. But I would try to make sure that even f they are not 100% gay-friendly that at least there is some respect ie equal treatment with straight patrons (like not getting kicked out of a restaurant due to complaints of ‘indecency’). I guess gay-tolerant would be enough for me.
And I do think that helps these particular establishments stay in business. Since they may be lesbian only resorts only lesbians can keepthem in business. If a gay couple goes out to go eat at a place where they can hold hands and kiss like anyone else then they will choose that place over the one that kicks them out and that sets an example.
That’s a really difficult question. I mean, all-lesbian places NEED us to frequent them to stay in business, so we can have the place to go play and be ourselves with no issues. And frankly, I think gay-friendly cities should be rewarded for that by earning our bucks. Since it is a vacation, the goal is to relax and not have to worry about educating misguided straight people all the time.
But then, the only way we can make other areas that aren’t quite gay friendly yet gay friendly is by going there, refusing to hide our love and just being. Afterall, it’s all about visibility, no?
I think that’s quite a dilemma and frankly, I’m not sure what answer to really give.
You and Remi should open a Bed and Breakfast!!!!! OMG that would be wonderful. You would have more guests then you would ever want just from CCL alone. 😉
Provincetown, MA. My GF and I just got back. Seriously the greatest place on Earth!!!!! Hetero families mixed with every aspect of the LGBT population….total and complete acceptance of ALL!!!!!
Just found this via Autostraddle:
http://www.purpleroofs.com/