Chocolate Bunnies Are Never Evil
This is just a quick post for me to tell every single girl that reads this blog a few important things to keep in mind. They are all things that I think I have touched on before, but I still get emails daily from confused, questioning, self-hating, self-doubting women that ask me if being gay is “bad”? Are they going to hell for it? Does it make them a pervert? Does it mean that they will never have a happy marriage? Are they destined for a lonely life?
Well first of all, being gay is not bad. It simply is. Its the same as being straight, except it’s a little better. In fact, being a lesbian, to me, is the most empowering thing a woman can be lucky enough to be born as. And yes, I said born as because just like Lady Gaga says, we are born this way. If you doubt that, then try being straight and ask your straight parents or whoever makes you feel bad for being gay, ask them to imagine themselves in a gay relationship. If they say they can’t because it’s not who they are, tell them, “Exactly! Just the way you can’t flip a switch and be gay, I can’t flip one and be straight.” So let’s just quit trying to fit into a mold that you “think” you should fit.
If the world were populated by little chocolate bunnies and we all popped out of the same mold, that would be pretty fucking boring. If all of a sudden one day, there were a few bunnies made out of white chocolate or marble chocolate we wouldn’t think we should make a law against them! We would probably just think, “Wow!! How cool!! They’re different and it makes the world a more yummy place to have them in it.”
I know that’s a silly comparison, but think about it for a second. White chocolate might not be everyone’s taste, but is it evil or bad just because some people prefer milk chocolate? Or better yet, what should we do with the people that love love love dark chocolate?! Should we string them up because they dare to appreciate something other then milk chocolate? That would be pretty crazy if we did, wouldn’t it? …. Yet that’s what’s going on in society when we tell people (via politics and religion) that gay people are wrong, or evil, worst then terrorists or any other bullshit propaganda being spewed out by the conservative right.
Look, just because we don’t want the same chocolate as they do, does NOT make us bad or wrong! It simply makes us different and since when was that a crime?
People who fear independent thinkers, individuals, creatives, intellectuals, and anyone that doesn’t fit into the same chocolate bunny mold are really afraid of something. What? I’m not sure, I’m sure each bigot has their own issues. Some are homophobes because they’re secretly closeted homosexuals and are so afraid of their latent (or not so latent as the case may be, desires) that they turn all their fear and self doubt outward, into hate.
Some of them are just plain ignorant. Let’s not mince words here, any educated person (and I’m not talking about college here, any one who has plain simple logic and can research the facts for themselves) will come to the inescapable conclusion that gays do not in fact, present the greatest danger to the American family or to national security. And people that are trying to push that line of crap are hoping and counting and praying that more people will be too stupid and too lazy to think for themselves, then not.
Do you really want to run your life based on people that pander to the lowest common denominator? Or do you want to aspire to something great?
Do you want to be happy? Fulfilled? Accomplished? Loved? Do you want to make a difference? Do you want to inspire others to live a life of truth? If the answer to those were yes, then here is the first step to all of those things: Accept yourself. If you’re gay or lesbian or trans or bi, or anything else …. Accept it. Be OK with it until you’re not just OK with it, your proud of it. Then once you’re proud of it, look around and make a list of things you want in life and realize, “Wow, being a lesbian isn’t holding me back! If anything it’s better! I won’t get trapped in a loveless, fake marriage to a man. I won’t accidentally get pregnant and have to sacrifice 18 years of my life to a kid I never planned on. I can be anything I want now without societal expectations holding me down!! I’m free!!! …… I am free.”
My father says he always knew I was a lesbian, since I was a little girl. He also says that he’s glad I’m gay. He thinks it was the best thing for me, because I would never have a men holding me back. Yes, my father actually says that. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are some great men out there, my dad is one of them. But he’s right. There’s a lot to be said for the opportunities that being a lesbian will give you.
If you don’t believe me do a little research and you will see that in general, gay people have more education, higher household incomes, travel more and have more expendable income. But not to the exclusion of the other things society tries to tell you, you can’t have if you’re gay. Because you can still have a life mate, children, a happy home and anything else your straight counterpart can have! But you can have it on your terms.
Look, the point of this blog is to shout from the virtual rooftops, “It’s OK to be gay!!!!”
It’s more then OK, it’s actually pretty fucking awesome! So of you’re wondering if coming out as a lesbian means the end of the world as you know it? It might. But only because the new world you’re about to join is even better!
“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” ~ Guillaume Apollinaire
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Sasha, this post has completely made me tear up. As someone who has come out later in life, I really appreciate the chocolate bunny analogy – especially as my Mom thinks and has told me that being gay means I am hell-bound. At the same time since being truthful EVERYTHING is better for me. I have so much hope for the future – and am loving living life as a lesbian. You are awesome and I adore this website!!!
I am a regular reader of CCL but this is my first time commenting. I love this piece and using chocolate bunnies as an example is simple yet very apt and elegant. This will provide clarity and help a lot of people.
wow for me this is the greatest post i have ever read since i have been reading your blog everything you said were so true this made me stronger inside and out and if anyone gives me bullshit i’ll say i’m gay and i’m happy if you don’t like that fuck off! i’m so happy that i found this blog ! and once again awesome pic.
Excellent post. I totally agree with your comment- “People who fear independent thinkers, individuals, creatives, intellectuals, and anyone that doesn’t fit into the same chocolate bunny mold are really afraid of something. What? I’m not sure, I’m sure each bigot has their own issues. Some are homophobes because they’re secretly closeted homosexuals and are so afraid of their latent (or not so latent as the case may be, desires) that they turn all their fear and self doubt outward, into hate.”
*breathes in deep* ahhhhhhhhhhh Love it. Nice to have you back love!
I agree. This is the best post I’ve read in the year (maybe more) that I’ve been reading. I know that this message runs through many of your posts, the message to be proud and self accepting. But, this post says it all in a light-hearted manner. Thank you!
Sasha you and your talent of picture finding- impressive you can even find a “sexy looking” piece of chocolate candy lol I’ll never look at a chocolate Easter bunny the same again. LOL
Again, this is an excellent post. I really enjoy your writing style and am glad to see you writing again. Hope Remi has today MLK Day off so you two can be together an extra day.
interesting comparison with the bunnies. although, it makes me wonder if we’re mensie buddies lol! i know mine’s on it’s way!! lmfao! tmi? CHOCOLATE!!! 😀
anyways! those bunnies look good enough to eat, yo! it is certainly refreshing to have you back, hun! (((hugs)))
i don’t understand how anyone could not love gay people after reading your chocolate bunny analogy! this is the best lighthearted, yet serious message for equality and acceptance i’ve come across! who doesn’t love chocolate bunnies! i doooo!
Love this blog entry! I came out after a HORRIBLE straight relationship and two kids. Coming out was the hardest thing I ever did but the best thing next to my kids. I am happier now because I am being my true self. I have been with my wife about 8 years and it feels empowering to call her my wife. I am so happy to have her by my side and share my life with her. For anyone who doubts coming out could make you happier… think about the fact everyday you wait to come out to yourself or others you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders because of the constant secrets and denial. Imagine that weight not only being removed and forgotten but also you open up your future to find true love and sexual fulfillment. Everyone deserves just that and nothing less.
Wow that was amazing I live how you always seem to say what we all are thinking deep down I loved this blog so much thank you for writing it and for just being plaiin freaking awesome plus I loved the first chocolate bunnies picture =)
This post is exactly what I needed to hear (or read), all the negativity from my parents lately has really been hurting me I’m tired of feeling bad, questioning myself and lying. Hopefully I’ll get to a point where I won’t have to think about what other people think and i can be truly proud. I’m always scared in the back of my mind that maybe they are right and I’m shaming them or something. I know who I am and it’s not going to change…but it’s hard to get other people’s views out of your mind completely especially your own parents… anyway this is a great post 🙂
I know i’m a little late, but Sasha, this blog post has made me feel sooo good about being myself! I haven’t come out to many people…esp my parents because my mum is super religious and thinks being gay is something akin to bestiality and my dad thinks its a mental illness… someday I will come out to them but for now I’m happy to accept myseld and this post has just bolstered that. 🙂
I love Chocolate Bunnies!