Are Trans Men the End of Butches?
I’ve seen a lot of opinions about this topic from a lot of different types of lesbians and I think it’s interesting. So I thought we could discuss it. Are trans men the end of butches?!
First of all, let’s look at that argument and see why that’s even a question? From what I have seen, there’s some butches that are a little angry about trans men. Which I find weird and doesn’t really make sense to me. But from what one butch told me, she felt that trans men were literally going to make butches obsolete. She said that she thought that the younger generation of trans men, would have been butches 20 years ago and that by transitioning to straight men, they are sort of traitors to the lesbian community. A little harsh I think, and I told her so, but she’s entitled to her opinion. I mean, I guess I can sort of follow her logic for a bit but I have several problems with that argument.
To begin with, if the trans men of today would have been butches 20 years ago … than couldn’t that also mean that the butches of 20 years ago, might have chosen to be trans men if it were possible back then? I know not all butches, but you can’t tell me that there were no stone butches back in the day that wouldn’t have LOVED to be able to transition into a body and image that they felt better represented who they were inside? Which is what I think trans men and women are doing. I think that the medical field and society as a whole weren’t ready for trans people in generations past, but now there are more options for people to live as they choose.
Also, I doubt that every butch or masculine lesbian secretly wants to be a man. But for those that do, they now have that option. I can see where some lesbians feel threatened by trans men, in the way that they’re no longer lesbians. They literally are leaving the lesbian community and joining the straight world. Or are they? I mean, the world still has a long way to go before our trans brothers and sisters are fully accepted and integrated into straight society. So if we kick them out of our communities and they aren’t fully welcomed in the straight world, than were does that leave them? Even more marginalized than before and now we, as part of the LBGT are partly responsible for that.
The other part of my argument for trans men, is that I’ve seen a lot of trans men partnered with lesbians. Now why is that? Is it because lesbians are more accepting of trans men as romantic partners? Is it because we’re open minded about gender and identity? Is it because we find them hot and sexy? Is it because they are the butchest of the butch? Oh yea, I said it …. As a femme lesbian I can honestly say that when I see a hot trans guy, I have pretty much the same reaction as I do when I see a hot butch. Weak knees and loss of words. I’m not calling them butch so don’t come for me, but they kind of are … I mean, they’re like a new hybrid version of butch. Like, the ultimate butch? They’re so butch they’re men, but they used to be women so they’re always going to be something more than just a man. It’s like having lived two lives within one lifetime and still having your memories from your past life. Which I think is pretty cool and very useful.
Does that mean I do think that trans men are going to make butches obsolete? No, not at all. Because you are who you are. There are always going to be masculine lesbians who are happy to be just that. Masculine, butch, fine ass lesbians. And there’s going to be trans men, who deserve to live their life in the body and identity that they wish to. I mean, it wasn’t so long ago that butch lesbians were being treated like trans men are being treated now …. And yet some of our community think it’s ok to now turn and treat them the same way?? I don’t get that at all. If anything we should have their backs and give them a safe space to be who they are and not get mad at them for not choosing to be butches. I mean really, you can’t force or guilt trip someone into identifying as a butch or a masculine lesbian.
To be totally honest, I think it’s jealousy sometimes that creates this tension between the older generation and the younger. Not on a personal level but more about jealousy that the older generations had to go through so much to be who they were. And now, the new ones coming up are literally able to change their gender if they wish to. I see younger and younger lesbian couples everywhere now, on TV, on the street … and they’re all just living life! Holding hands and kissing at school like any other couple. Even I, sometimes feel a little pang of, “Ugh how nice it must be to be growing up now, when it’s so easy and accepted to be gay!” But that doesn’t mean I would ever want to put any hardships on the new generation just so they can feel what we felt. They have their own issues to deal with, as every generation does. I think instead we should look for and cultivate a stronger sense of unity and friendship between the lesbian and trans community and continue to push for equality and acceptance for the entire spectrum of LGBTQ.
One last note to any butches reading this: You are my favorite kind of lesbian. Trans men will never replace you. They’re just on their own paths, as you are on yours. There’s room for all of us, there’s enough love to go around. We’re all just trying to be happy. Let them try to find their happiness and you find yours.
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