Please tell me why so many women, straight and gay put up with abusive relationships? I get emails every week from women in terrible relationships. All sorts, femmes getting abused by their butches, butches taking verbal and physical hits from their femmes and butchies in love with other butchies that hurt them. WTF is wrong with us? Why do we make excuses for the people that hurt us?
I know, I wrote “us.” No I am not in an abusive relationship right now. In fact, Remi is the best thing to ever happen to me. But I have been in horrible relationships in the past and it took me too long to get out of them.
That’s why when I read the emails from anonymous women, I don’t feel like they’re anonymous. I feel like I know them, because I’ve been there. And I want so much for them to listen to what I have to say, but I know full well that just like me, they won’t leave the relationship a minute before they’ve had enough.
But why do we stay for so long, when even a moment after the first time they hurt us is too much?
Many reasons. These are just a few:
Because we love them and think that they can change with our help, with counseling, with prayer, with our love ..... with something.
Because they love us. Or so they tell us after they’ve hit us or yelled at us and now are begging our forgiveness, swearing it will never happen again. Uh huh.
Because it’s not really them ..... it’s the disease, it’s the alcohol, it’s the drugs, it’s the _____ fill in the blank for whatever excuse you give them.
Because we want to save them from themselves, their past, their disease.
Because they need us. Biggest bullshit answer yet! If they needed us or loved us so much then they should treat us better! Hello? Is logic home?
