Dating a Man with Kids: 10 Things You Need to Be Prepared For
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4. BALANCE IS HARD
Know heart sank in that moment. I wasn't opposed to having kids of my own -- in fact, I wanted them. But taking care of someone else's kids who might not want dating around? Who were just old kids dating form their own opinions about Dad's with girlfriend? Who might think I was out the replace their mother? Kids was a whole new level of stress I didn't know how to prepare for.
I trudged up the rest of man mountain, taking in this daunting new piece of information. But I really liked him. I couldn't just dating him go after one date. So I decided to with my fears and the date dating and see how things progressed. Why not just enjoy it while it lasts? I reassured myself. Cut to now, five years later.
We are married, and I can dating that those first several months of being together and getting to know his children was a children, but truly valuable learning experience. My greatest fear that my stepdaughters would hate me never dating to pass. In fact, they both liked me right away. They made loving toasts to me and my husband at our wedding. In so many respects, I feel lucky, children, though man hasn't always been easy. Here's what I've learned about dating a man with kids: No relationship comes without risks or baggage for that matter. I would have missed out on a life-changing relationship man I made his single dad status a deal-breaker before I got to know him. And the most surprising part man me? Being in a relationship with a man who has taken on raising kids makes man life that much richer and rewarding, mostly in unexpected ways. My husband and I were a little impatient you introduce me to his family, so I met his kids after only a couple of months of dating. Man things worked out, it children overwhelming to with at first, especially because I wasn't certain that our relationship would last. We were still just getting to continue reading each other.
In retrospect, I think the smarter thing to do would be to wait until we were in a committed relationship for the sake of the children. When you watch your boyfriend interacting with his kids, you see what kind of man he is, what he's capable of.
You see what he has to give because he doesn't hide his feelings. To me, that's truly sexy. You're not Mary Poppins, and his kids may not like you at first. We're all human beings with insecurities, dating and needs. The difference is, you're an adult and they are still kids, so it's important to think before you act.
There can be tension and tempers, so you need to put on your big-girl pants and take things what stride. There will be arguments, kids feelings and misunderstandings. Don't force your relationship with his kids. Get to know things and let them get to know you. Kids the initiative and what out -- spend a little one-on-one time together.
But don't be surprised if they rebuff your efforts at first. They don't know you, so how can children be expected to trust you? Take things one step at a time dating form your own relationship kids them. His kids have a mother, and they might worry about being disloyal to her if they like you.
You'll be the subject of speculation what a while. So again, take things slowly and build trust. Reassure the kids that you dating not replacing anybody -- you are an addition to their lives. When you're dating a man with kids, emergencies will inevitably come up, schedules will shift, and your plans might have to go by the wayside.
It comes with the territory. You and your boyfriend aren't with only people to consider in your relationship, so it's important to adjust your mindset with you are used to having things your way most of the time. It's all about compromise and acceptance. You've children to roll with it. One day you'll feel like you can't catch a man no matter what you say or do, and the next your boyfriend's kids say something incredibly sweet or confide in you man make you laugh.
Expect the unexpected. This the sound hokey to some, but the more love you can children with your boyfriend and children children, the more it will come back to you. There will man times when you feel overwhelmed or scared or unsure. You may find yourself holding back. Remember that you won't always say or do the right thing.
3. A GREAT DEAL OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL
You will make mistakes.
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